Author Archives: Get Maximized

Not a recreational facility – it’s a youth development facility

“We are not a recreational facility – we are a youth development facility.” In this week’s Maximizers, we were joined by Andy Purviance, Assoc. Executive Director of the Goshen chapter of the Boys and Girls Club of Elkhart County. While the Goshen Club has been in existence since 1956, the national Boys & Girls Clubs of America had its beginnings in 1860 in Hartford, Conn.

Andy’s journey with the BGCA started as a volunteer. After several years, he decided that this was what he wanted to do with his life.

Inspire youth to become productive citizens

The BGCA provides a space that is safe and fun for after school activities. Their mission is to inspire young people, especially those who most need it, to become productive citizens. Studies show from 3-6pm are the times when kids are most at risk for trouble.

The club members are ages 6-18, and must be pursuing their education. Many of their kids come from poverty; lots of times, the parents are not high school graduates, so education isn’t always emphasized. The club has a partnership with the local schools and parent to make sure kids are performing in school.

Values, character, moral compass

Through the work of their volunteers, the students are influenced by values, good character, and sound moral compass. The volunteers build 1:1 relationships with the kids through smaller group interactions where the purpose is not the activity, but a vehicle for building relationships

In addition, local companies come in and talk about employment, interviewing, and job skills. It’s part of their Life Skill curriculum, which covers areas, such as: curbing alcohol and drug use, behavioral guidance, age and gender appropriate lifestyle and development, and financial readiness.

Number of kids in need outweighs the number of volunteers

Over the past few months, we’ve had several youth-related facilities join us, including Rob Staley of The Crossing and Justin Maust of Five Star. Andy stresses that while there are many similar programs out there, the number of kids who need to be reached far outweigh the number of programs and volunteers.

If you are looking for a volunteer opportunity, the Boys and Girls club could be a good fit. Click here for more information.


Pre-conditioned to trust?

We are pre-conditioned to trust a lot of things in society. Think about the food you eat: you are trusting the farmers, the transporters, the stores, the preparation, etc.

What about infrastructure? We trust that traffic lights to function properly. We trust the building we work in to stand day after day. We trust our furniture to hold up. We trust our computers to power up and work as commanded by keystroke and click.

How  important is trust to a business or society?

We all agree that trust is very important in business, and should be more valued in society. Some of the call-outs from the group on why trust is important included: risk and cost reduction, competence, motivation, and relationships.

To be trusted, you have to be trustworthy. We defined this as being dependable, committed, consistent. Overall, a general ‘do what you say you’ll do’ approach.

Within defining what makes one trustworthy, there are moral exhortations:

  • Tell us what we should do if we are to be moral
  • Do not prescribe specific actions (tells us to give money to the poor, but not how much)
  • Do not tell us how much of a positive moral action is necessary to fulfill a generally accepted standard of moral propriety

and there are moral prohibitions:

  • Tell us what we shouldn’t do if we are to be moral
  • One either obeys them or not, there are no matters of degree

Trust and moral failures

In contrast, there is no objective basis for asserting that a failure to obey a moral exhortation is a moral failure. However, failure to obey a moral prohibition clearly constitutes immoral behavior.

Moral exhortations require resources, whereas moral prohibitions only require inaction therefore, everyone can do them. For example, The Ten Commandments are all specific prohibitions. Anyone can do these – they are an objective moral standard.

Trust and moral restraint

Harm-based moral restraint is where we start to rationalize prohibitions. We will break the law or the rule if we think that no one will get hurt. We speed on open highways because no one is there. – works in a patter like this:

  • A self-serving action is considered that will likely bring hard to one of more individuals
  • Empathizing with the harmed individuals leads to sympathy
  • Sympathy lead + culpability lead to voluntary feeling of guilt
  • Strong feelings of guilt lead to moral restraint
  • Moral restraint precludes opportunism
  • Trustworthiness
  • Trust
  • Consequentialist – no one is actually going to get hurt if I do this
  • Empathy problem

But, principled moral restraint is a little different, as it is the moral belief that undertaking negative actions is inherently wrong, wrong as a matter of principle, and there wrong even if no harm is done to others. It’s a non-consequentialist position that frequently comes from religion.

The problem: the ‘Greater Good’ rationalization (breaks down trust)

  • We may feel guilty about a negative moral action (moral prohibition), but even more guilty about not doing a positive moral action (moral exhortations)
  • Trading off positive moral actions against negative
    • (prohibition says don’t steal, exhortation says my kids need to eat…)
    • No objective way to measure value of moral exhortation

These decisions are made in business – bypassing difficult conversations with difficult people. Or, when there’s a reduction in force, the business may be forced to choose between two employees: one who is a high performer; and one who is not… but has a disabled wife or child. The business may let the performer go based on the assumption that because they are a performer, they will have no trouble finding a job.

The solution: The Lexical Primacy of Moral Prohibitions

The Lexica… what?

  • Moral prohibitions precede moral exhortations
  • To be a moral person, one must first not be immoral by obeying all moral prohibitions against negative moral actions
    • If this condition is not met, no matter how many positive moral actions a person takes, the person is still immoral

“An individual who very strongly believes that undertaking negative moral actions is wrong as a matter of principle, and who also believes that obeying moral prohibitions is lexically primary to obeying moral exhortations, possesses and ethic of duty-based moral restraint” -

Recommend Resource: Moral Foundation of Economic Behavior – David C. Rose


Guardrails – culture won’t set them

guard·rail  [gahrd-reyl] – a protective railing,  as along a road or stairway; a system designed to keep vehicles from straying

The Maximizers definition – a personal standard of behavior by which we live.

Our culture is not going to help us establish guardrails. In fact, it won’t even endorse it. The culture keeps us dancing right on the edge based on our desires.

Proverbs 4:23 = above all else, guard your heart – for it is the well-spring of life

Proverbs 13:30 – walk with the wise and become wise; the companion of fools suffers harm

Guardrails in Friendships

Desires:

  • Go along with the crowd
  • Justify certain activities as ‘blowing off steam’
  • Centering our lives around our friends

Guardrails:

  • Distance – give yourself some space, rather than hanging all the time
  • Consistency – do you act different when you are around certain people?
  • Participation – are you telling yourself that you’ll go along, but not participate?

Guardrails in Morality

1 Cor 6:18 = flee from sexual immorality…. Those who sin sexually sin against their own bodies

The culture certainly baits us to the edge on this one. We especially want our loved ones to embrace this verse. But when we look at it within ourselves, we may flirt rather than flee. We may want to look over the guard rail to judge the drop off.

Churches are under enormous pressure to keep a lid on sex and money. In fact, many pastors would likely admit that an overwhelming number of the deep conversations they have with their parishioners are either about money or sex.

Think of your own single largest regret: does it relate to money or sex? Chances are that those mistakes could have been avoided by having a few guardrails in place.

Desires:

  • Being ‘real’ in conversations by getting too personal
  • Flirting a little (it’s no big deal and will never lead to anything)
  • Exposure to music, movies, magazines that push the envelope (it’s just entertainment)

Guardrails:

  • Boundaries – who you surround yourself with and what situations do you get into?
  • Conversation – keep your conversations professional and less of personal interest
  • Entertainment – what shows, movies, web sites are you watching?

Guardrails in marriage

Desires:

  • Keep some small things from your spouse
  • Confide in your friends (especially of the opposite sex) for advice, or to complain
  • Seeking more independence – doing your own thing apart from your spouse

Guardrails:

  • Don’t keep secrets from your spouse
  • When you’re on the road, call your spouse to check in
  • Don’t discuss relationship advice with another person of the opposite sex
  • If you feel yourself drifting toward someone else, tell someone who can actually help you

Guardrails in the Workplace

Desires:

  • Idleness
  • Hiring or working with certain people because of physical attributes/attraction
  • Get credit for things

Guardrails:

  • Guard your conversations
  • Set time expectations (travel, family events, etc.)
  • Share credit, bring others along
  • Don’t compromise little things such as expenses, office supplies, etc.

There are many other areas in our lives that need guardrails; such as finances and faith. Where else do you apply guardrails?


Strategies for BEING a Maximizer

In a recent Maximizers session, we listed out areas in life where we can apply what we consider to the principles of the Maximizer: faith, integrity, resource, encouraging, etc.

Quite honestly, it’s easy to talk about it a room. It’s far more difficult to apply it in real life.

With that in mind, we took a look at some of our relationships and how we might be a Maximizer in various capacities to the people in our lives. As a recap, we have listed out our whiteboard ideas in bullet fashion.

Strangers?

  • Lead others to open eyes to other thinking/thoughts
  • Their Identity Consultant (Image Consultant)
  • Steer the conversation (when the conversation is going to a bad or not so good space, steer it) – used my example of my phone with my 3 daughters on it.
  • Kid Questions- How to keep on the right road
  • Affirmation of others, everyone likes affirmation.

Friends?

  • Watch attitude (yours)
  • Encourage

Co-workers?

  • Addressing tension
  • Encourage take high road (positive manner)
  • Coach them up-Better themselves

Spouse?

  • Spend Time
  • Quiet Time
  • Just Be

Others?

  • Withhold criticism
  • Pick people up
  • Raise the bar
  • Encourage people to rise up above it
  • Get outside of yourself
  • Effort
  • Energy
  • Mindset
  • Go to the Next Level of Questions
  • Accountability
  • Not Superficial

Our Kids?

  • Listen twice as much as we talk
  • God-Foundation- Reminder
  • Fully Listen (before talk) – see to understand
  • Separate experience from who they are/or life
  • Get out of the way of what God is doing
  • Affirmation is great here.

Kids Friends?

  • Encourage experience

What are some other ways we could really be a Maximizer in our relationships? What points would you add to this list?


There seems to be a gap

Far too often I slip into meaningless conversations…

Anxiety about the future…. Rewarding the dysfunctional or temporary…  Looking at people as means to an end… And simply relying on myself….

If we really believe what we believe, what would that mean in our decisions at work?  With our money?  Our priorities?  Our conversations?

There seems to be a gap between what I say I believe and what really happens inside my mind at work, in conversations with a boss or co-workers, when forecasting for the future, my finances, and more.

If I could close that gap, what would change in the 8-5 work day? 

What could happen?  What could I be modeling tomorrow that I’m neglecting today?

Let’s reconnect to what we actually say we believe and discuss real steps to be what we believe

Join us every Friday morning for group discussion, and subscribe to this blog to continue the discussion.


Do we genuinely believe what we believe?

What we would do if we genuinely believe what we believe? What if what we genuinely believe actually guided our actions?

Most people would likely suggest that they live their lives as a product of what they believe; such as faith, charity, love, family, fidelity, integrity, ect. But, is there a chance that, when under pressure, we resort to operating from a selfish perspective in a few key areas?

Is it possible that in the moment of truth, our actions may actually deviate from what we really believe?

Based on what we say we believe, how would we respond to situations like:

The Future

Do we get wrapped up in what could happen? Do we spend so much time focusing on our preparation that we lose sight of the immediate?

  • Romans 8:18-19: Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. 19 For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are
  • Matthew 6:34: So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
  • Isaiah 22:13: But instead, you dance and play; you slaughter cattle and kill sheep. You feast on meat and drink wine. You say, “Let’s feast and drink, for tomorrow we die!”

Politics/Leaders

Do our affinities or political leanings steer us too hard to one side or the other? 

  • 1 Tim 21: Praying for your leaders
  • We are subject to the authority of the government
  • Daniel 6:4 = corruption of power, contrary to the law of God
  • Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s

Fear/Worry

Do we allow ourselves to become paralyzed by fear? What causes us to devote so much energy to worry and stress?

  • Comes from Satan
  • Ephesians 6:16 – shield of faith
  • Isaiah 26:3 – perfect peace
  • 2 Tim 1:7 – God does not give the spirit of fear
  • Roman 8:12 Bondage of fear

·         Money

Are you with or without it? Do you have enough? Do you maintain the proper perspective on its role in your life?

  • The filter of faith and structure
  • Luke 12:34 (where you treasure goes, your heart will follow)
  • Giving always feels better than thinking

This exercise is a reminder of a few months ago when we talked about living for the scratch… so worried about our finite lives that we lose focus on the eternal. If we truly believe what we truly believe, at the end of the day, God is God.

Try this exercise: Write down how you would respond in these situations, then find out what the scripture says about these areas of our lives.


The distinction of you as an example versus you as a reason

A couple of weeks ago, we discussed the differences between form and function as it relates to how we approach our relationships, both in and out of the workplace.

This past Friday, we continued the conversation by looking at how we love others in respect to form and function; specifically from the nature of Agape and Eros forms of love.

AGAPE

EROS

• Focused on being (who they are, made in the image of God) • Focused on function (the attributes, desire of another)
• Love because of the worth of the other person • Love because of the something that the other provides
• Based on a standard higher than self • Based on the standard of self (why pornography and romance novels are so attractive – takes care of the immediate physical or emotional need, but does not require work)
• Necessary and sufficient • Necessary but not sufficient
• Must be given, can’t be taken – we have to receive it • Can be taken without being given

In Agape love, the reference point is not us or them – it is God. We are able to love them because God loves us, and we are therefore in stewardship of the love of God.

We’re called to love everybody…. Which includes the workplace: bosses, co-workers, direct reports, suppliers, etc. But at the same time, we have to make things happen as a function.

How do we love people with Agape (higher love based on who they are), while balancing the Eros (desire, means to an end)?

What does it look like to love our employees and employers?

Some of the areas we identified as a group include:

  • Respect
    • Consideration of others, their experiences, their value
  • Honesty
    • Especially as it relates to performance, being honest about their strengths and weaknesses
  • Kindness
    • Encourage, listen, and show interest in others
  • Gentleness
    • Temper your response, be slow to anger
  • Self-control
    • Thinking before we speak… is what you’re about to say helpful?
  • Caring
    • The desire to develop others

Love your neighbor as yourself: this is an important distinction. The point is not to love your neighbor so that they will love you back in the way you want to be loved; but, to love them in the same way that you want to be loved.

It’s the distinction of you as an example versus you as a reason.

Agape love requires commitment, regardless of what the other person is doing.

In everything we do, our delight should be in Christ and the furthering of His Kingdom. That’s the Agape. Being an effective channel for Christ – gaining for joy from Him balances the Eros.


Can’t start a fire without a spark

“You can’t start a fire without a spark” – Bruce Springsteen

Do you believe that you are the spark that can start a fire?

I’m not talking about the destructive kind of fire – this is the ‘I’m going to make a difference’ kind of fire.

There are so many reasons why we shrink back from the opportunity to fan the flames when we see something good happening.

We entertain thoughts like:

  • This is a God-sized problem – and I’m just one person
  • Trying to tackle this thing is like throwing a glass of water into the ocean
  • I don’t have enough klout to get the attention this thing needs
  • Shouldn’t the government or some church be on top of this?

We become paralyzed with fear

The more we allow these thoughts to gain real estate in our minds, the less effective we are. We become paralyzed with fear. A common response is to ignore the problem. You know, we get busy with our own stuff. We tune out. Maybe we wait for some sign that we’re supposed to get involved.

Rather than being loaded up with more guilt about all the things we should be doing, or could be doing, or wish we were doing, let’s consider a few ways we can take steps toward making an impact:

  • Money: Anything you can give will always help. While throwing money at problems does not easily make them go away, your contribution does add a little more fuel to the fire.
  • Awareness: Got a small group? Twitter? Blog? Facebook? These are effective, readily available and totally free vehicles you can use to build awareness. These are also easy places where you can invite others to join your effort and multiply the message.
  • Prayer: Sincerely ask God to help you tune into areas where you can be a resource, gain leverage, start a relationship, establish connections, and be a friend. This is where being vulnerable and open with God on a regular basis will strengthen your spiritual walk.
  • Time: Yes, we’re all busy with all sorts of everyday life stuff – challenge yourself to find a ½ hour each week to serve somewhere in your community. Mentor a child. Pick up trash. Serve at a community kitchen or food pantry. Help a neighbor.

Add fuel to that fire

Whatever your ‘thing’ is, and there’s no shortage of things to be passionate about, find a way to add fuel to that fire. Look for areas where God is already at work and join in the effort.

Don’t get sidelined and paralyzed by fear and doubt. A tangible impact can happen – it just takes someone like you. Yes, you.

Be the spark, add the fuel, fan the flames!


Being & Function

Being & Function – two aspects of who we are (Part 1 of 2)

Who I am will affect how I act… and how I act will affect who I am.

Being

Function

Humans in relationship with God Humans in relation to the world around them
Humans as beings with responsibility Humans as they effect the world
Humans as persons individually unique and of infinite value Humans as the fill interchangeable roles
Humans as dignified ends in and of themselves Humans as a means to an end
Example: artist, salesperson
Example: laborer, scientist

In the most relate-able sense, areas such as marriage and workplace are areas to see Being and Function at work.

In marriage, we all have functional roles that someone else can do.

But, you are not married because of your functional abilities – you are married because of your being. Even in relation to sex, anyone can serve in the functional role.

But, sex within marriage is more valuable in sense of being. Sex is not the means, or just the act. It is the holistic ends in the sense that you unselfishly want to add value and pleasure to the other person.

In the workplace, anyone can do the function that you do.

No matter your role, you are entirely replaceable. But when you consider the being, there are things that you bring value to that are not replaceable.

But, being can be disruptive when someone is allowed to stay on too long despite their success in the function. This happens for various reasons, such as history, relationship, compassion, etc.

Some beings will function better under more policy, as to where others will break down under more policy. Think about how policy impacts the artist versus the scientist:

  • The artist finds restriction in policy. Parameters on the project will stifle the level of creativity necessary to produce quality work.
  • The scientist finds structure in policy. A clear understanding of how data is to be collected and used will increase the chances of conducting a successful experiment.

Understanding people according to their being and function is essential for management. Our challenge is to have the courage to not allow high function success to pacify poor behavior; or conversely, not allowing the nice guy to consistently under-perform without correction.

 


Friday mornings are for Maximizing!

Did you know that you don’t need a title to be a leader? Every organization is in high need of people who want to lead with integrity and add value to others. The development often gets lost in the pursuit of success.

What about your family? It’s becoming increasingly difficult to lead your family with quality time. Placing things like dinner and school events at a higher priority. Providing for your family is more than financial.

What about our community? We have serious and very real problems right here in our own backyards. Are we supposed to let the government or some potentially underfunded agency fix these problems? How long can you look at a problem and say “someone should fix that?”

Every organization needs a Maximizer. That’s where you come in.

Every Friday morning at 6:15 AM, you are invited to meet with other business leaders to begin to connect the dots of how Faith and Business can (and will) collide.  We’ll learn business practices from other leaders in our community, we’ll learn about organizations making a difference in our cities, we’ll hear from leaders on how they’re working to integrate Faith in their workplace, and we’ll begin to connect relationally and strategically to change this Michiana community.  As Steven Furtick said, it’s time to start digging ditches for our cities.

Gosh that’s early. Yep. That’s what coffee’s for.

Where are we meeting?  Mutual Bank Building, Edison Lakes on the corner of Day and Edison Lakes Parkway.

So…… when are YOU going to join us?


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